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Survivor pools, a concept so simple yet devastatingly difficult. Pick one team a week to win outright and you move on to the next week. The only catch you may only use the team once. For the fourth year in a row I'm trying to turn my 20$ into 10,000.  I've put two bullets into the chamber once again to double my chances. Will this be the year I make it at least half way through the season?

Last Season all you had to do was pick the team playing the Browns and you were moving on to the next week. This year I think that team could be the Bills, which is why I am taking the Baltimore Ravens in week one. I think Nathan Peterman has thrown more interceptions than completions in his short NFL career and the Ravens defense should have a field day in this one.

My second pick is going to be the New Orleans Saints. They are one of my top picks for teams to win the Super Bowl this season and in week one they go up against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  The Bucs will be led by backup quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick for the first three games of the season because former first overall draft pick Jamis Winston got a little grabby with his uber driver, 0 stars.

Like Peterman, Fitz has at times shown to be an interception machine. The Saints have been building up their defense the last few seasons and are no longer reliant on Drew Brees throwing 4 TDs a game. However I think he does throw for four this game and the Saints run away with an easy one.

Cheers to you all! May your opening NFL weekend be filled with plenty of delicious beer and bottomless nachos. And if you are hung-over on Monday, as Jarvis Landry would say, “Bless em”.

Welcome to Statistically (in)Significant, the place to find great stats that probably only matter at the water cooler (or bar). Each week I'll dig through the stats of the week gone by and deliver you some choice conversation starters. All fantasy stats are standard Yahoo scoring, unless otherwise noted.

42.28 Fantasy Points, 3% Owned

The season has begun, and our first stat is a two-for one special. On Sunday, Ryan Fitzpatrick (or the Amish Rifle, wtf), dominated the Saints in his best game of his career. Fitzmagic (his real nickname, come on guys) put up a career high 417 yards and QB rating of 156.2. 158.3 is perfect, so, ya know, there's room for improvement still. Only owned in 3% of fantasy leagues, Fitz outscored all other QBs by over 10 points to put up a ridiculous 42.28 points from 417 yards, 4 passing TDs, 36 rushing yards and another TD on the ground. Now with his 7th NFL team (he has started at least 3 games for each of those teams), he has established that he and his magnificent beard are planning on sticking around way past week 3. This will not even become a QB controversy if he continues to play at this level.

8 minutes, 21 seconds

The clock still read 6:39 left in the 1st quarter when Tyreek Hill found the end zone for the second time yesterday. A 91 yard punt return, followed by a 58 yard catch and run gave the Chiefs a comfortable 14-3 lead that they held on to the entire game. Known as the king of long touchdowns, Hill added a 1 yard score in the 4th quarter, showing he isn't just a one-trick pony. Even if he was, it's a really damn good trick - constantly outrunning everyone on the field. We must also give props to Patrick Mahomes, putting up 256 yards and 4 TDs while taking only 1 sack and not turning the ball over at all. The Chiefs have really not skipped a beat, all while turning over their OC and starting QB.

36 total touches

In a very Bell-esque performance, James Conner had a massive fantasy game in his first career start. This may be a surprise to some, but the Steelers seemed to know they would be fine without Bell. Maybe it's Conner's talent or maybe it's the stud-filled offensive line, but this makes me wonder why the Steelers tagged Bell in the first place. Bell is a favorite of this column, and I'm not happy with his situation, but this space is for James Conner. Going in to this game, Conner had 32 career touches for 144 yards and 0 TDs. On Sunday, he more than doubled those numbers, putting up 192 yards from scrimmage and scoring twice. He and Alvin Kamara are the only RBs in the top 16 fantasy point scorers, so a game like this only makes the drama with the Steelers more complicated. If only they hadn't TIED the stupid Browns.

13 WRs with 100+ Yards

So far in Week 1, there are 13 WRs who have over 100 receiving yards, led by Michael Thomas's absurd 16 rec for 180 yards. By contrast, there were only 2 RBs who had over 100 rushing yards (Todd Gurley is a good candidate for 100 tonight). This quick view of the week just reinforces something we've said for a long time on drinkfive. Wide receivers start the season much faster than RBs. Traditionally, we find the first half of the seasons is dominated by WRs and the latter half gets taken over by RBs. Not only is this number way in favor of the WRs, but it's guys who are drafted/owned/started. Of the 13 over 100 yards, only 1, DeSean Jackson (26% owned), is under the 68% owned mark. This means that the guys being drafted are producing right away. For the RBs, 5 of the 12 backs who are 100% owned in Yahoo put up single digit (or 0) points.  Get those WRs early, turn them in to RBs later in the season. Win championship, rinse, repeat.

-7 Combined Points from 2 Top DSTs

I don't often venture into the DST territory in this column, but yesterday featured two ugly performances by top 8 DSTs based on ownership percentage. The Saints gave up 48 points en route to doing absolutely nothing else, ending with a -4 point score. The Chargers did manage one sack while giving up 38 points and finished with -3 points. This brings up a memory from a draft this year, where I was discussing DSTs with fellow drinkfiver Dave. He said that his favorite defense to draft was the Saints based on their week 1 matchup. I firmly disagreed, insisting that the Chargers were the team to own. Before you call us crazy, we only take DSTs at the end of the draft. This would feel like something to laugh off, but  6 of the other top 9 DSTs did find their way into double digits, and the Rams are on that list and can easily hit that mark tonight.

The first week of the NFL season is in the books and it was a real humdinger for Survivor Pools. For the pool I participate in, we saw over half of the 1275 entrants eliminated after week one. A vast majority of the L's came at the hands of Fitzmagic defeating the New Orleans Saints 48-40 in a stunning upset. If you followed my advice and went with the Ravens over the Bills, then you were raising your glass over and over again as the Ravens laid one on the Bills 47-3.

In last week's article I laid out the winning strategy to employ this year, which is to pick the team playing the Bills. This week I suggest you stick to that winning formula and choose the San Diego Chargers of Los Angeles/ Carson. The Chargers are playing their second of sixteen road games this season in Buffalo as rookie quarterback Josh Allen gets his first NFL start. The Chargers and their highly touted defense were lit up by Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs, but surely they will bounce back against a Bills team that couldn't get anything going in week 1.

Now, if anyone can screw this up it is the Chargers. After all they are the only team defeated by the Browns in the last 2 seasons. But, I think it safe to take them here as 7.5 point road favorites and not have to worry about them the rest of the year. Look for them to cover that spread as well.

Cheers!

Drink Five

Welcome to Statistically (in)Significant, the place to find great stats that probably only matter at the water cooler (or bar). Each week I'll dig through the stats of the week gone by and deliver you some choice conversation starters. All fantasy stats are standard Yahoo scoring, unless otherwise noted.

80 Touchdowns

With 10 TD throws in his first two games of the season, Patrick Mahomes is now on pace to throw a cool 80 touchdowns on the year. Give him the MVP right now, because he's going to beat Peyton's record by 25. On a serious note, he's going to need to keep this pace up if his defense keeps playing like...well, like crap. The Chiefs D have given up 65 points in two weeks, and sure, those opponents were playing catch-up, but giving up over 1000 yards is alarming to say the least. Nevertheless, the Chiefs are 2-0 behind the strength of a historic start. Mahomes joins only Drew Bledsoe with at least 4 TD in each of his first 2 games to start the season...and also our next, magic man.

4 TD and 400 Passing Yards

The Fitzmagic is real, folks. Ryan Fitzpatrick is now the only QB in league history to throw for 400 yards and 4 TDs in the first two games of the season. Along the way, he's thrown 4 TDs of at least 50 yards or more and even put one in on the ground - all by himself! The Buccaneers season so far has consisted of blowing out their division rivals New Orleans, and then taking down the Super Bowl champs, two events that really mean that Jameis Winston will not be returning to the starting lineup in Week 4. The Bucs are one of several 2-0 teams that are a surprise, like Miami and Cincy. Unlike those two teams, the Bucs look like they could actually be the best team in their division. Finally, congrats to DeSean Jackson, who tied Jerry Rice for the most 60+ yard TDs, notching his 23rd against his old team on a 75-yard catch and run on the first offensive snap of the game.

28 Receptions in Two Games

If you own Michael Thomas in a PPR league, you're definitely happy with his two straight 30+ point performances. His 28 catches in two games are 10 more than the next closest players - a 3-way tie between Antonio Brown, JuJu Smith-Schuster, and Adam Thielen. Thomas has been targeted 30 times and he is catching everything that comes his way. He's basically the entire receiving core of the team. Aside from Alvin Kamara's 15 catches, Thomas has more receptions than the rest of the team combined (21). He's a cool 20 points ahead of the next closest WR, and is second overall in PPR fantasy points, only behind the afore mentioned Fitzmagic. He's on pace for well over 200 catches, smashing the record of 143 by Marvin Harrison. This is, of course, an absurd (but fun) extrapolation.

8.4 Yards per Carry

This year's early season rushing leader is not one that many people predicted. Matt Breida has 184 yards on only 22 carries. His usage is mostly thanks to the absence of Jerick McKinnon, but he's making the most of it. The 49ers have given him 11 carries in each game, and I expect that number to go up. They should have given him more carries in the 4th quarter to help ice the game away, so I expect his production to continue improving. His next three games are against the Chiefs, Chargers and Cardinals - all teams that have a very porous defense. Breida is only owned in 61% of Yahoo leagues, so while not a hidden gem by any means, he is a guy who needs to be in starting lineups in most, if not all leagues.

1 out of 10 Tight Ends

This season, the top 10 TEs have been the model of inconsistency. Only one of the top 10, Eric Ebron, has more than 6 points in both games this season. Most guys have one big game and one dud, not great, but you'll take it. What makes Ebron's consistency surprising is that he went into the season and wasn't considered the top TE on his own team - that belonged to Jack Doyle. Doyle has been targetted more than Ebron, but hasn't been productive. Meanwhile, Ebron has managed to find the end zone in each game and may become a favorite target of Andrew Luck, who had a good showing in Washington on Sunday. Only Will Dissly has a chance to save some face for his positional group, when he suits up tonight in Chicago.