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It’s early May 2020, and the only major sport that has yet to be affected in a significant way in America is the NFL. This is mostly due to it being a fall sport. The NFL has been able to plow forward with Free Agency and the Draft without even really slowing down, but that’s all just paperwork anyways. How will Covid-19 actually affect the NFL? Nobody knows, but in the spirit of my in-season column, Statistically (in)Significant, I’m going to go ahead and wildly speculate on 5 scenarios for the 2020 NFL season.

Scenario 1: The NFL goes on as planned, overcoming the enormous logistical challenges related to Covid-19. The schedule will be released tomorrow and it’s set in stone. Opening day goes on as planned on Thursday, September 10^th with the Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs hosting the game. All of the games are played with little or no fans in the stands, but at all of the stadiums we’re used to seeing. It’s very creepy for the first few weeks, but by October everyone is making jokes about it and we’re all used to it. Thanksgiving has the usual 3 games, we get all of our Thursday night football, Monday night football and when the playoffs start, we get a super-sized wild card weekend. The Vikings keep piping in crowd noise, just like back at the old dome.

Scenario 2: The NFL is the only game in town, and they get creative. Still no fans, but without any college football going on, the NFL takes over Saturday by the end of September. We get 7 different game slots every single weekend. Football is the only thing that anybody can talk about for months. The NFL is bigger than ever. Without having to worry about fans’ schedules, Goodell calls an audible and they start flexing Monday Night Football games halfway through the season. The 9 different game slots that are now available for Thanksgiving weekend (all watchable games thanks to flex scheduling) results in a bump in the divorce rate. Lawyers are thrilled, network execs are thrilled, and people who aren’t football fans really get sick of all of us. The Vikings keep piping in crowd noise.

Scenario 3: The NFL season starts late. This one has already been laid out by the league, stating they could start as late as October 15^th. Bye weeks are eliminated, unmercifully for the players. The week between the championship games and the Super Bowl is eliminated, mercifully for the fans. The Bears and Packers both host games during brutal cold or blizzards during late January or early February. The Super Bowl is played on February 28^th, the latest ever. The Oscars are scheduled for that day and there’s a brief standoff between the movie industry and the NFL. We know who’s going to win that one. NASCAR gets the Daytona 500 interrupted by the second round of the playoffs. Both of the top seeds who had a playoff bye make the Super Bowl because it’s insane to expect a professional football team to play 18 straight weeks without any sort of relief. Maybe teams rest players in smaller groups later in the season, driving fantasy managers insane.

Scenario 4: The NFL starts, either on time, or in some sort of delayed fashion, and cannot finish the season. The dreaded second wave of Covid-19 comes and we’re all under stay-at-home orders for the last couple months of the year. Far too many players and support staff contract the virus, and even Jerry Jones hosting the entire NFL inside a bubble in North Texas can’t save football. The season gets postponed at first, causing chaos throughout the fantasy football world. Smart commissioners who hashed out contingency plans before the season started feel vindicated, but all the people in their league complain about the result anyways. Chaos ensues, players hate the owners for making them play in (more) dangerous conditions. Some fans hate the players for refusing to play. Others hate the owners for making them play. The entire situation gets far too political and it turns people off to the NFL for years to come.

Scenario 5: There is no NFL season. There is no such thing as social distancing during a football game. Even without fans, it takes a couple hundred people to make a game happen and to broadcast it to the world. Lots of coaches, refs and support staff are older and would be in the at-risk category for complications if they contract Covid-19. How would we ensure everyone is safe? Let’s say, conservatively, each club has 100 people that need to be around each other on a regular basis to make this whole thing run. You also need a TV and officiating crew, as well as local medical personnel, so that’s 250 people per game. How often do you test? Once per week? That’s 80,000+ tests needed just so the NFL, a non-essential business, can get started. What happens when someone gets infected? What happens when a whole team gets it? Will players refuse to play if their opponents have tested positive, even if those people have been quarantined? Putting on the great spectacle that is the NFL is already a huge logistical challenge when there’s not pandemic going around. Completing a full season of 256 games plus 13 more playoff games, and, oh yeah, 64 more preseason games just might be too much to ask for when most of us might not even be able to go to a bar to watch any of these games. The crowd noise at Vikings Stadium finally falls silent.

Welcome to Statistically (in)Significant, the place to find great stats that probably only matter at the water cooler (or bar). Each week I'll dig through the stats of the week gone by and deliver you some choice conversation starters. All fantasy stats are half PPR scoring unless otherwise noted.

95% Completion Rate

Minshew Mania is alive and well in Jacksonville. Gardner Minshew led the Jaguars to victory over the much-hyped Colts. So much for the tank in Jacksonville, though if we learned anything from the Dolphins last year, a tank mentality is generally only present in the front office. The players and coaches never want to tank. I say bravo Minshew. He was brilliant, completing 19 of 20 passes for a 95% completion rate. He has the third highest passer rating so far in Week 1, behind only the reigning MVP Lamar Jackson, and perennial MVP candidate Russell Wilson. Minshew’s 20.82 fantasy points are only good for 12^th best this week, but he finished ahead of Mahomes and is very much in the conversation as an every week QB2 and a good streaming QB option.

14 Receptions

DeAndre Hopkins had a career high 14 receptions in his first game with the Cardinals. By contrast, the Texans WRs had only 13 total receptions. Hopkins’ previous career high was 12 receptions, which he achieved only once. Sunday’s performance with his new QB Kyler Murray is just a signal of what’s to come on this high-powered offense that now has a true #1 option. It also highlights how much the Texans missed their former #1 option on offense. Back to Arizona, who were very impressive in defeating last year’s NFC champs. Kyler Murray did not need to do a ton in the passing game – only 12 of his 26 completions went to someone not named DeAndre. Murray’s real contribution to this game came on the ground, he had 91 rushing yards along with another TD. Murray and Hopkins both finished as the 5^th highest scoring fantasy player at their respective positions.

3 WRs in the Top 11

Perhaps the Packers brass knows what they’re doing after all, when it comes to WRs. Aaron Rodgers’ attitude towards his team was the subject of a lot of offseason talk. They did not acquire any new talent for Rodgers to play with, which was seen by many as a mistake. Rodgers, the true professional that he is, just poured himself a tall glass of tequila and made the best out of what he had to work with. 3 of his WRs finished in the top 11 at their position this week, with Davante Adams holding the top spot with a gaudy stat line of 14 receptions for 156 yards and 2 scores. Marquez Valdes-Scantling put up 17.6 points, good for 9^th and Allen Lazard was right behind him at 16.2 points and 11^th on the week. As for Rodgers, he was just the QB2 on the week, throwing for 364 yards and 4 touchdowns, totaling 30.76 points. Next up for Rodgers is Detroit, who just made Mitchell Trubisky look like the right choice for the Bears. Look out NFC North – Rodgers is about to rampage through your division.

3 of the top 11 TEs

Over the course of a season, the better TEs generally will rise to the top, but it’s often very hard to predict them outside of maybe a handful at best. This season appears to be no different. Only 3 of the top 11 TEs in Week 1 are even rostered in our drinkfive fantasy league. These top 11 TEs all scored at least 10 points, so they would have all ben fantastic starts, if you were able to take the leap in Week 1 and avoid many of the bigger names that were drafted higher. Week 1 saw Dallas Goedert, T.J. Hockenson and David Njoku all put up at least 50 yards and a TD – all now hot waiver wire pickups. Speaking of the wire, 4 guys in the top 11 are owned in 27% or fewer leagues on Fleaflicker – David Njoku, Logan Thomas, Jordan Akins and Jimmy Graham. Good luck picking the right guys on the waiver wire and not the ones who are a flash in the pan. I’m sure next week this column will feature another bunch of TEs putting up points that nobody started.

3 First Round Duds

Of the top 12 players drafted in 2020 (ranked by ADP), 3 of them were duds this week. We’re still waiting to see the results from Derrick Henry and Saquon Barkley’s games tonight, but so far only 3 guys have disappointed out of the first round, and I think that’s a good consistency. The rest of the players drafted in the first round turned in really respectable to great stat lines, including the top RB and WR. We got disappointing performances from Michael Thomas (3 rec, 17 yards), Joe Mixon (69 yards, 1 rec for 2 yards and 1 fumble) and Nick Chubb (60 yards, 1 rec for 6 yards and 1 fumble). I expect all 3 players to recover nicely, especially Michael Thomas, who has now been held below 5 receptions in consecutive regular season games for the first time since Weeks 11 & 12 in 2018. Meanwhile, both Mixon and Chubb will need to help their teams find some sort of groove, as both teams combined for only 19 points.

Welcome to Statistically (in)Significant, the place to find great stats that probably only matter at the water cooler (or bar). Each week I'll dig through the stats of the week gone by and deliver you some choice conversation starters. All fantasy stats are half PPR scoring unless otherwise noted.

37 Completions

Thursday night, the Bengals unleashed their #1 overall pick in a prime-time game – though if you didn’t have NFL network handy, you struggled to find it. Broadcast rights aside, this Browns-Bengals matchup was better than it had any business being. In only his second game of his professional career, Joe Burrow attempted 61 passes, completing 37 of them for 316 yards and 3 TDs with zero interceptions. The 37 completions are a record for rookie passers. Now, perhaps, the Bengals would like to consider acquiring a defense so that their rookie’s arm doesn’t fall off by the end of the season.

50 years

Raheem Mostert, one of 49 (probably) players injured for San Francisco, recorded a feat that hasn’t been done in over 50 years. He became the first player in 50+ years to score a TD of 75+ yards in the first two weeks of a season. Last week, he had a 76-yard TD reception, and yesterday he opened the game with an 80-yard TD run where he was clocked at a blazing 23.09 MPH. Seriously. Get in your car and drive 23 mph and see if anyone could possibly keep up. Hell, Mostert would have been speeding on the street that I grew up on. Limited to only 10 touches since apparently injuries are more contagious than Covid-19 to the 49ers, Mostert still sits as this week’s RB14, and the RB4 on the season. Hopefully Mostert can stay on the field as he has the two fastest speeds clocked by ball carriers this season – and they’re the fastest regular season numbers since 2016.

75,000 Yards

Tom Brady became the second player, behind fellow quadragenarian Drew Brees, to reach the 75,000 passing yards mark. Brady has yet to really impress in a fantasy football sense this season, but he did lead his team to an impressive victory over the, admittedly lame, Carolina Panthers on Sunday. The question of whether Brady still “has it” is unresolved in my mind, but he does win games, so we can go ahead and give him credit for this one. He does need to stop throwing interceptions – that’s 4 games in a row including the playoffs last year. Nonetheless, we celebrate Brady’s 75,000 yards, a distance so damn far that it would take Raheem Mostert nearly 2 hours (111 minutes) running at full speed to cover all those passing yards. You can tack on another 17 minutes to include his playoff yardage.

60+ Fantasy Points

So far in this short season, 4 QBs are averaging 30+ fantasy points per game. Leading the pack is no surprise, it’s Russell Wilson, who has an amazing 82.5% completion rate to go with 9 passing TDs already. It’s the 3 players who also average 30+ per game that may have you surprised. In order, you have Josh Allen, Cam Newton and Kyler Murray. Between them they have 8 rushing TDs, obviously an invaluable asset to fantasy football QBs. Amazingly, Cam Newton has landed here with only 1 passing TD in 2 games so far this season.  Last year’s MVP, Lamar Jackson sits just outside the top 10, just a few points ahead of 2020 Rookie of the Beginning of the Year Joe Burrow.

43.6 Fantasy Points

Aaron Jones is insane. This is the note that was my placeholder and I really can’t start this section any better. Since the start of last year, he has 13 games over 15 points (and 2 more games of 14.8 points). Two of those games are over 40 points, 8 of those are 22+ points or better. On Sunday, Jones was everywhere. He carried the ball 18 times for 168 yards, good for a 9.3 yards per carry average. He found the end zone twice on the ground and once more through the air, where he added 4 catches for 68 yards. His performance in Week 2 was so dominant over all other RBs that the difference between Jones and the RB2, Nick Chubb, is an entire Raheem Mostert – 17.8 points! If you take the highest non-QB, non-Jones scorer in Week 2, Calvin Ridley, you would need to increase his output by 65% just to reach Aaron Jones’s performance. This guy is insane, and the Packers are really, really good this year.

Welcome to Statistically (in)Significant, the place to find great stats that probably only matter at the water cooler (or bar). Each week I'll dig through the stats of the week gone by and deliver you some choice conversation starters. All fantasy stats are half PPR scoring unless otherwise noted.

16 Point Lead

It seems that in Atlanta, no lead is safe. Most recently infamous for blowing a 28-3 lead in Super Bowl LI (which still fuels memes around the internet), the Falcons have now blown back-to-back games where they led by at least 16 points. Dan Quinn has achieved the impossible – he’s become less popular in Atlanta than Covid-19. In two consecutive possessions late in the 4^th quarter, the Falcons ran the ball just once and netted -4 yards total in those drives. The second drive of that sequence featured 3 straight incompletions with less than 5 minutes remaining in the game, burning off a whole 11 seconds. Perhaps it’s too early in the season to fire a coach, but I cannot imagine a seat that is hotter than Dan Quinn’s right now, especially considering his offense is playing well for 3.5 quarters of football every Sunday.

75 TDs

This offseason was all about letting Russ cook, and that’s exactly what he’s done. Russell Wilson is now the first NFL QB to throw for at least 4 TDs in each of his first three games of the season. If there was an MVP for September, he would be the unanimous choice. On the season, he already has 14 passing TDs, on pace for a Peyton Manning crushing 75 on the season (the current record sits at 55). Of course, Patrick Mahomes was on pace to break this record back in 2018, but only managed (“only”) 50 TDs. Wilson is slightly ahead of Mahomes’ pace – he was at 13 after 3 games, and only managed one over the next two weeks. I think it’s certainly plausible that Wilson can keep up a record-breaking pace for quite a while. To go along with this, he’s also the #1 player in fantasy football, already cracking 100 points on the season. #LetRussCook

12 Total TDs

Right on the heel of Wilson’s great start is Josh Allen taking the Bills to 3-0. On the season, Allen has 10 passing TDs, 2 rushing TDs, 1,038 passing yards and has totaled 94.92 fantasy points, good for 2^nd overall. If it was not for Wilson, then Allen might be at the top of the MVP discussion, alongside Aaron Rodgers – the last of the top QBs without a turnover on the season. Allen has shown some vast improvement this season. His first two years, his best completion rate was only 58.8%, but he currently sits at 71.1% on the season and has only thrown one interception so far. He’s already matched his TD total from his rookie season, and he’s halfway to matching 2019 through 3 games. Allen is perhaps the most improved player and is the kind of fantasy pick that will help people win leagues – Allen’s ADP put him at QB8 and was being drafted sometime in the 8^th round in most drafts.

260 Kicking Yards

One of my new favorite changes in 2020 for fantasy football is the ability to directly award kickers for their exact yardage, instead of truncating the number and just giving 3, 4, 5, etc. This allowed Stephen Gostkowski to really max out his score on Sunday, where he kicked 6 field goals for a total of 260 yards, and threw an extra point in there for good measure. Under the old scoring system, he would have had 25 points, but yesterday, he put up 27 points, which is good for 1^st place among kickers by nearly 10 points. His 27 points Sunday are more points than 8 of the top 20 kickers have scored all season long. I don’t often devote an entry in this column for a kicker, but perhaps more performances like this one will change that. Mason Crosby deserves an honorable mention. His 41.6 points on the season put him just behind Gostkowski, but his perfect 7 for 7 FGs and 13 for 13 XPs certainly deserve praise. Until next week, have fun picking a kicker – 8 of the top 13 kickers this week are owned in only 26% or less of Fleaflicker leagues.

-3.33 Points per Week

Usually, you want to stream your D/ST against a team that struggles, and more on that in a minute, but let’s first marvel at the team you do not want your D/ST to go against. In 3 weeks, the D/ST going up against the Green Bay Packers have scored -4, -3 and -3 points. The Packers have scored 36 points or more in every game so far, and have only given up one sack each of the last two weeks. Perhaps this information isn’t that helpful to you to win at fantasy football, but it’s certainly something to marvel at, and that’s the real point of this column. If you want points, start whoever is playing the Jets, like the Colts in Week 3, who put up 26 points from 3 turnovers and 2 TDs. Or stream whoever is going against the Eagles, who have seen Wentz give up 2 INTs in every game so far this season, to go along with 11 total sacks. It won’t get any better for the Eagles, who now face the 49ers, Steelers and Ravens in their next 3 games.